My recovery journey
task 1: building a support network
❝ I get by with a little help from my friends ❞ John Lennon
Why have a network?
The aim is to have support for change and the maintenance of change, with at least one supportive person because…
People who have support do better
Family and friends do better when they are involved
Improvement will last longer
Here you have all that you need to know about setting up a support network.
Recruiting people to your support network…
Invite people who
Are readily available
Have a positive relationship with you
Are prepared to be firm but kind with you
Are able to agree about your drinking and drug use goals
Are willing to work with other members of the network with regards to change
Avoid those who
Avoid those who:
Have an alcohol or drug problem themselves
Are too young
Have a chaotic lifestyle or untreated mental illness
Are in a position of power relative to you
You may already have a supportive and constructive network of people who are concerned and want to help bring about change. Sometimes you may feel that you have no support or support may be limited in which case a network needs to be found. Always try to think of getting network support.
Here are some specific types of support you could use:
Moral support: giving encouragement and positive feedback
Solving problems: other people may have had a similar problem and/or be good at thinking of different options
Help with tasks: simply sharing the load and/or bringing some particular knowledge or skills to a situation
Help in organising activities: arranging a fun social activity, a rewarding task, or practical support such as driving to and from activities
Providing information: finding available resources or information for example about courses, jobs, leisure activities, support services, specialist advice
Emergency help: for example, financial or equipment loans, transport.
There are people who can give support outside the network. For example, the local shopkeeper who sells alcohol can be persuaded not to sell alcohol; the local pharmacist is often willing to provide support beyond giving out medication.
What to do
Look for people who can make a positive contribution
Rehearse how you will approach potential members
Explain the importance of a support network to achieve a good outcome
Say why you want them to join your network
Add them to your network map and say what they will do
Think about what the support group can do and how to keep it going
Focus on choosing the right people to support you. Stability, concern, commitment and respect for each other are the building blocks of a strong network. Stability in the lives of your support network means an absence of drug, alcohol or mental health problems.
Being concerned about each other in a mutually respectful way is another cornerstone to making a network commitment. Working on helpful communication styles and enjoyable activities as well as daily routines make up the bulk of the conversations.
In these video clips Dr Gillian Tober demonstrates how to build the network - notice her consistent use of the language of facilitation. The video demonstrates the essentials of getting started…
The essentials of building a social support network
Watch now
It can be bonding and reveal a lot about friends and family if you draw a network map which might look like this one. Use it as a reference point in future discussions. Here is a list of people you might think to include:
Family, including those who have not been seen for a long time or who live far away
Friends, including neighbours and lost contacts
Workmates or colleagues
People who have helped in the past
People who share activities or interests
People who share religious worship or belief
Casual acquaintances seen during day-to-day activities
Social or health care workers who have been helpful
There are no rules about how to draw the map: some people like to add more information such as how everybody gets on together, in what ways they could help, and those people who may be a challenge rather than a support can be noted differently.
Issues that you might want to discuss…
Asking for help
dealing with drinking or drug use situations
with practical matters
dealing with craving
recruiting additional network members
Managing criticism
exploring feelings that result from criticism
building self esteem
turning it into a positive, helpful experience
Listening and conversation skills
talking in turn
acknowledging feelings
talking about things other than drinking
Communication in the network
Good communication comes from telling each other how you feel and what is helpful, without fear of criticism and rejection. You and those supporting you may need to practise listening to each other and responding in turn, not interrupting, not blaming, and respecting each other’s point of view.
Look out for unhelpful communication styles. For instance:
Blaming “It’s your fault that I…”
Defensiveness “What do you expect me to say…”
Being judgemental “That’s what you always do…”
Making assumptions “I know what you are thinking…”